I Think I’m Just Wasting Time, So Let’s Go With That

When I started this foray back into the world of blogging (in English) I made a pact with myself.  There were two things I would not include when blogging here; my other blogs regarding my mission to learn foreign languages and blogging about absolutely nothing.  Well, while I will do my best to remain diligent in not discussing these things, it may become inevitable as I don’t have much else to talk about today.

Ok, here’s the deal.  I make lists.  I have tried my best to avoid this, but I do it anyway.  I make shopping lists, I make New Year’s Resolution lists, I make To-Do lists, I make lists about what I am going to do today, tomorrow, and beyond, and I even make lists of what I will eat for dinner days in advance.  For some, lists are vital.  They help us get through our day, however, it is very possible I make lists to avoid boredom.  I find if I don’t make a list for, say, what I am going to do or accomplish on Saturday (today) I won’t do anything, which so far has been the case.  It’s 11:00 AM, not too late to get a move on, but I have just finished my breakfast (my standard 2 scrambled eggs, 2 sausage links, 2 halves of a bagel and 2 cups of coffee) and I am not particularly inclined to do any of the things I told myself I would do today.  I need to go to the laundromat.  This is not a necessity……yet, but after tomorrow it will be.  I had the notion I would go to the gym.  Again, not a necessity, but something I should really be doing on a more frequent basis.  Now, laundry will occupy an hour and a half of my day, while a trip to the gym will last a little over an hour, however when we factor in travel time, time to change clothes, and a much needed shower afterwards, we’re looking at eating up the next 4 hours.  And that is if I get up right now and go.

I’m still here.

I find my problem is not that I don’t have things to do, it’s that I want to do too many things all in one day and because of this, I stall out and do nothing.  Ready for a list?  I thought so.  Today alone I would like to:

1) Do laundry  (2hrs)

2) Go to the gym (2hrs)

3) Read some of my book (I actually have 3 I could choose from today.) (1 hr)

4) Watch a movie in Spanish (2 hrs)

5) Watch a movie in Italian (2 hrs)

6) Study Italian for at least 2 hours (I include the length of the movie in this one)

7) Write in my Spanish blog (30 min)

8 ) Write in my Italian blog (30 min)

9) Make dinner (1 hr)

Now, add up those hours with me.  Got it?  I got 11, give or take.  If I start now, I will finish at 10:30 tonight, roughly 2 hours after I will already be in bed.  Right, so already I need to make sacrifices, and sleep won’t be one of them.  Without going too in depth on the foreign language thing (I promised, remember?) I had decided I would spend roughly 2 hours a day through the month of October studying Italian.  I suppose you could say, after laundry, that goal should supercede all others.  I won’t shrivel up and die if I don’t go to the gym, but I do have a membership that is sucking $20 a month out of my bank account and while I used to get every nickels worth out of it, the past year has seen a steady decline in my attendance.  Physically I am not terribly out of shape, but given the effort I put in a few years back to be in tip top condition, I am a little disappointed to see myself falling back into old habits.

Aside from the gym, there is nothing holding me back from doing any of the things on that list.  I think the problem is, I don’t have the pressure of a deadline looming over my head.  Let’s flashback for a moment to high school.  I was a classic procrastinator.  If it didn’t have to be done at that moment, it wasn’t.  I was a good student and I maintained good grades, but I also knew what it took to get by.  I often found myself here, very much like I find myself today, struggling to focus on the task at hand.  Back then it was an English paper or a history report.  Of course I knew Monday was looming in the distance, so eventually (Sunday night most likely) I was pacing my room, attempting to force myself to sit still and do what needed to be done.  In the end, it always got done, and lo and behold, I graduated.  Come back to today and there are no deadlines, no Monday morning papers due to hand in.  All I have is my own desire to complete a task.  Sometimes it’s hard to push yourself.  I want to read my book, but if I don’t finish it today, no one will be questioning me on Chapter 2 tomorrow.  I want to watch a movie in Spanish, but if it doesn’t hold my interest, why bother?  I used to force myself into the gym by saying I needed to prepare for the upcoming basketball season, but unfortunately, there will be no basketball for me anytime soon.  I guess I could make another list of deadlines, but where will that get me?  I enjoy writing and derive a fair amount of satisfaction doing it, so I will not be surprised if instead of doing any rigourous physical activity today, I will probably find myself typing away here.  I won’t consider this a failure necessarily, but in the classic economic terms of opportunity cost, I have sacrificed one good for another.

At this moment, I am feeling motivated enough to go shower and at least get my things over to the laundromat.  We’ll see how the rest of the day goes.

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~ by James on October 8, 2011.

2 Responses to “I Think I’m Just Wasting Time, So Let’s Go With That”

  1. Time is money, so I went and bought a rolex. ~Wiz Khalifa obtained from Wiz Khalifa Quotes

  2. […] am not going to use that as an excuse anymore.  I have some goals…ok, many goals, and, since I love lists so much I thought I would rattle off a list of what I would like to do with my life in the next few […]

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