I Have A Plan

Normally, I wouldn’t post twice in the same day.  Hell, with this blog, I rarely post twice a month, but this is something that has been on my mind for a while and I wanted to get it out before it slipped my mind again.  Let’s see if I can get it all in order.

It starts like this.  I have a plan.  Yeah, what does that mean?  We’ll get to that, but first I have to point out a pair of facts I have accepted lately.  I say accepted because the idea has been popping around for, well, probably longer than I have been alive, but it isn’t necessarily accepted by all.  Human beings want two things out of life: money and sex.  Now, it could be argued that money leads to sex, therefore all we really want is sex, but that would hurt my argument a little, so humor me.

It doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to point this out, just look around.  What drives us?  Sure, you can say all sorts of things motivate us and drive us to succeed, but when you strip it down to the bare essentials, all we are working for is money and sex.    Don’t believe me?  Read on.

As a child, I came from a family that unfortunately did not have a lot of money.  A number of circumstances brought us to this and growing up, I had to learn to cope with the idea that I may not have had things as nice as the other kids.  Now, we weren’t poor, at least not by government standards.  We had food on the table every night and we always had clothes on our backs, but the simple truth was that a lot of our clothes were given to us from neighbors who had outgrown them and the food we ate wasn’t exactly high quality, nutritional stuff.  None of this mattered to me at the time, but as I matured to a point that I could understand socio-economic differences among people, I started to feel ashamed for not being wealthy.  Of course, as a kid, the measure of success was the number of cars your family owned or how many bedrooms made up your house.  I let these things shape my thoughts and as the time approached for me to go to college, I was tricked into believing only a highly expensive private college would offer me the resources to one day be one of those highly successful (rich) people.  I took out loans that buried me in debt only to discover very quickly that college was the biggest scheme perpetrated by our society.  First of all, any idiot can go to college should they have the cash at their disposal.  Ultimately, this reinforced the idea that had been formulating in my mind that the rich simply stay rich or get richer, while the rest of us struggle (or go into massive debt) to keep up, in the hopes someday we will be rich.  Why do we do this?  Sex.

Here are more truths.  Wealthy people go to expensive school, thereby receiving prestigious degrees, allowing them to get high paying jobs, making them wealthy, which leads them to marry others who thrive on money and give up lots of sex.  Let’s strip it down a little more.

The gender divide in this country is another factor that perpetuates this cycle.  Women are expected to date successful men.  Only rich men are considered successful.  Money=success=desirable to females=sex with aformentioned females.  All things being equal, a woman is more likely to pick a mate of higher income than lesser.  I’m sure many of you will argue against this point, as perhaps you are the exception to the rule, but from my own humble experiences, the money always wins.  I’m not trying to sound cynical, I’m just pointing out what I have seen in my life.  Society shows us all these images of rich, attracted people, and who has lots of sex?  Rich, attractive people.

So what does this have to do with my plan?  Glad you asked.  While I have pointed out that I did not come from a high income family, I certainly don’t wish to continue my life wallowing in debt and eating Chef Boyardee every night.  I also pointed out that college is a big scheme.  It is, and because of this, I never finished.  That’s right, I stopped going after amassing huge debt just so I could say “Fuck you” to the man.  Now, had I done that with no sort of plan, I would have been pretty silly, but despite my current financial state, I had an idea of what I was going to do to get ahead.  Unfortunately, this is where the troubles lie.

You see, women, those folks I mentioned earlier, don’t want to hear about my plan.  They don’t want to know that with a little patience, they could be with a much wealthier version of me.  They want to see the money now.  Happiness aside, money gets the wife.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  There are plenty of good guys out there and they deserve the wives they have and the sex they are receiving.  Just because you have money doesn’t mean you are evil, it just means you had a one up on the rest of us.  Now, I like to think I am an overall good person.  I have my faults, as do we all, but put me up against any average Joe and I hold my own.  I treat women with respect, I enjoy cuddly, romantic crap more than most, I will watch some tear jerking movie if that’s what she wants to watch, and I will go buy ice cream in a rain storm if she smiles pretty at me.  Why?  Two reasons.  I am a good guy, and I want sex.  So why am I single while some other asshole is out there beating his wife and cheating on her with strippers?  Because he has money.

When I meet a girl, they know nothing about me.  I am perfectly acceptable as a mate.  Then, inevitably, my job comes up.  My job has a stigma attached to it.  My job is for losers and recovering addicts.  My job doesn’t pay well.  My job has no future.  Ok, all of this can be said about many careers, however I get saddled with this.  Don’t get me wrong, I chose this job and I have no regrets about it, but because no girl wants to hear me go on and on about the benefits and my plan, they go away.

I am at my job because I like what I do, and also because I am loyal to those who have helped me along the way.  It could be a fatal flaw, but I feel I owe a little bit to my boss who has helped me out tremendously over the years.  Also, he is one of those guys who remember those who have been with him and he looks out for them down the line.  In about ten years, my boss is going to retire.  He is the franchise owner of where I work.  He makes a very comfortable living, seeing as we pull in $2.75 million every year.  Yeah, aren’t you glad you read this far down.  I would very much like to be in a position to take over his post when he retires.  Now, it’s not as simple as handing me the keys, this I know, and maybe it won’t work out the way I want it to exactly as I envision it, but if I keep at it and continue to grow as an employee, I could put myself in a position to be making a lot of money at a relatively young age.  Unfortunately, the ladies aren’t hearing it.  I mean, if I told a woman she could marry a guy who is banking 6 figures every year, she would be all over that, but tell her she is marrying a fast food employee and watch the tires screech out of the parking lot.  Sure, I wish I could waltz into some bar in an Armani suit, flash the keys to my BMW and walk out with any lady in the house, but I want more than that.  I want the same loyalty from someone as I have shown my boss and my friends and my family.  I want some one who values things more than money and realizes even those without money can enjoy sex.

My plan has me working hard for a few more years.  I wish I could find a woman to sit down with and lay it all out.  We’ll be happy and prosperous, I promise.  Our kids will be happy and healthy.  We will go on vacation.  Just stick with me for a little while through the thin years and it will pay off in the end.  We can still have sex in the meantime.  I don’t know, am I crazy?


~ by James on August 2, 2012.

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