Being Like All The Others

Despite all of my feeble efforts to stray from the flock, I often find myself thinking and reacting like all the others.  I would like to say I am wise enough to at least see past the bubble in which we encase ourselves in and realize that sometimes, I am just one of the herd.  While I try to maintain some sense of originality in who I am, inevitably I fall into the same traps of superficialness that we all succumb to now and again.

As we enter the new year, I find this especially appropriate.  Despite all of my efforts not to be like everyone else, here I am on the 1st of the year, rambling on about my New Year’s resolutions and how “This will be the year.”  I got to thinking about this a bit this afternoon and started to wonder if a better resolution would be to simply go with the flow and accept things as they come.  Maybe I could be a fan of Dancing With the Stars.  Maybe I should Tweet more often.  Perhaps Wal-Mart really does have good bargains and treats their employees fairly.  That iPhone?  Of course I need one.  I don’t have a lot of disposable income, but I have loads of credit, just like everyone else, and I could certainly enjoy a bigger TV, a louder stereo, and maybe one of those tablet thingy’s.  Instead of resolving to go to the gym everyday or quit smoking in a month, I’ll resolve to watch at least an hour of YouTube a day and update my Facebook status with pictures of kittens  playing musical instruments at least once a week.

Ok, seriously, I don’t want to do any of those things, but as I sit here “welcoming the new year” like everyone else, I can’t help but fear I will become just like all the rest.  I’m not really even sure why we celebrate the new year.  I mean, I understand Christmas, despite the monster it has become, and I understand the 4th of July, but when it comes to January 1st, I don’t really follow the significance.  I mean, humans created the calendar for their own purposes.  Of course we base it on something tangible, our annual trip around the sun, but we haven’t actually accomplished anything other than surviving 365 (and a quarter) more days.  Like birthdays, it really doesn’t mean anything to start a new year.  It’s just one of those things humans created to give themselves an excuse to get belligerently drunk and then act like they can wipe the slate clean after midnight.  Sure, as a kid, I loved counting down to midnight and acting like the next morning was the dawn of a new me, but in reality it was no more than the dawn of a new day, something that has happened and will continue happening for at least as long as I remain on the planet.  Don’t get me wrong, this year, just as in year’s past, I have a small list of things I would like to accomplish, but certainly, like so many others, the to do list will slowly fade away as we fall back into our normal everyday routines.

I’ll be 32 this year and I wonder if resolving to eat less junk food or to watch my god damn mouth is something I should put in a list, or if it just the way I should live my life regardless.  There are more pressing matters to attend to, which begs the question, should I instead make the resolutions more intense rather than less?  Screw “finding a girlfriend,” put “get married” on that list.  And while I’m at it, “have a kid, buy a house, and live happily ever after.”  If I am going to be different, I have to be extreme.  If I want to make it through my 30’s, I can’t beat around the bush anymore.  No more of this, “maybe I’ll go to a bar and gaze longingly at a pretty woman in the hopes she walks my way.”  No, it’ll have to be, “Hey, there’s a woman, she’s not wearing a wedding ring, and she’s over 21…go for it.”

All right, all right, this isn’t what I want either, but I am afraid my goals are either too simple or too complex to be achieved.  Finding a happy medium will just  make me, well, like all the rest.  So what should I do?  Well, it looks like the answer to that is, go on living the way I’ve been living all along and hope for the best…..just like everyone else.

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~ by James on January 1, 2013.

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