It’s A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

Ok, so the true story here is I am simply avoiding doing much of anything today, as it is my day off and I have decided to be a bit of a bum, but I thought I would throw some thoughts down here while I was at it.  To be fair, I was going to go to the movies this afternoon to watch, for the second time, the new Man Of Steel movie with my friend, but after giving it some thought, and peering frighteningly into my bank account, I decided the wiser choice was to stay home and avoid spending a lot of money today.  If I really need a Superman fix, I have all the previous movies on DVD, so I can sit in here and waste my day with those, but that will come later.  First, I want to spend a little time on my Spanish studies.  Yeah, I know, get a hobby, right?  No, really, I want to improve.  I don’t know where I think it will truly take me, but I really enjoy speaking Spanish and I really enjoy the moments when I feel I am fluent.  Sure, the truth is, I have enough knowledge of the language that I could run around calling myself fluent, but until I feel comfortable eaves dropping on  native speakers and being able to understand them entirely, I will not call myself bilingual.

I bought and read James Y El Melocotón Gigante (James and the Giant Peach) and finished it in about a week and was so proud of myself I quickly bought Charlie Y La Fábrica de Chocolate (Charlie and The Chocolate Factory) and got to work on that a few nights ago.  It’s a lot of fun as it is more or less a children’s book, so the vocabulary is not terribly hard and since I am familiar with those books, which I read myself as a child, I can follow the story quite easily.  It may be a little silly for a 32 year old man to enjoy Charlie and The Chocolate Factory so immensely, but it is a great way for me to practice Spanish without boring myself too much.  I have been trying to come up with simple ways to improve my Spanish, as I have more or less mastered the basics and now need to focus on the more subtle nuances of the language.  I truly believe it is a goal that never has a defined ending, as no one ever knows a language in its absolute entirety, but knowing I can always learn a little bit more is great motivation.  I plan on spending a good chunk of my afternoon reading so I can buy Charlie Y El Gran Ascensor De Vidrio (Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator) next.

It really is a nice afternoon so far and it probably was the wiser choice to skip the movie rather than spend a day like today in a dark theater.  I enjoyed the movie the first time I saw it, but it is rare for me to go a second time, even if I think the movie is great.  My best friend, however, self proclaimed greatest fan of Superman, will go see this movie probably ten times or more in the theater.  While that is quite an expensive proposition, I admire his dedication to the character.  Unfortunately, he was not nearly as happy with the movie as I was, but I always suspected he was going to be disappointed no matter how good the movie was.  He had very high expectations and I feared he would be let down no matter what, and that seems to be the case.  Should I have a little extra cash next week, maybe I will make the trip, but for right now, I will reserve my cash for dinner and maybe a coffee later tonight.  It’s funny, even my days have have become scheduled to some extend, and I guess I don’t mind that too much, as if I didn’t have some sort of structure I would just waste day after day.  Between my new responsibilities at work and the schedule I set for myself during my free time, I have pretty much occupied every hour of the day, which sometimes I find to be a good thing.  Too much open space leads to trouble.  I have some mini goals and I am going to try to stick to them.

I was originally going to focus this entire entry on one particular topic of interest for someone in their 30’s, but I decided I wanted to babble on about a few other things first, however, had this entry been dedicated to just one topic, it would have started out something like this:  The babies are coming, the babies are coming!  What?  What am I talking about?  Well, here is what I would have written originally.

I was a little (but not very) surprised after talking to my very best friend the other night that she and her husband are in the process of trying to have a baby.  Of course I am happy for her and wish her the best, but it blows my mind to think of her being a mother.  Don’t get me wrong, she will make a great mom, and I look forward to the day she has a child, it just amazes me how things like babies, a natural part of life, can be so surprising to me.  My sister in law is expecting her first child in August.  I mean, it’s no secret married people have sex, but my god, my brother is going to be a dad!  I flip flop between my own personal thoughts on the subject.  I think naturally we all want children of our own someday, as it’s nature’s way of extending our lives, but when it comes to the process we as a society have invented in order to properly go about having children, I wonder if I am up for it.  I won’t father a child with some random person just for the sake of having a kid.  I think that if I want to be a good father, I should be married and able to provide for the child.  Yes, that desire is in me, but given my current social status, I don’t know if it is a realistic possibility.  I am happy with the way things are and I am not looking to make any dramatic changes, but that would mean I will never be in line to be a dad.  Obviously, thanks to my childhood, I have rather skewed ideas on parenthood, but the deep down gut feeling I have is that I want to be a good parent someday.  Certainly there are women out there who too want to be mothers, but to find one who is also compatible with a guy like me, whoa, good luck.  I can’t let myself get too wrapped up in the whole idea or I won’t be able to live my life, but at the same time, the proverbial clock is ticking and I am right smack in the middle of the time I should, if nothing else, be finding a mate.

In any case, I am not going to spend an afternoon like this one worrying about having children.  I could go to a park or something and who knows, maybe stumble across the woman of my dreams.  That being said, I will end this here today.  Talk to you all soon.

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~ by James on June 20, 2013.

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