The Dark Knight Rises

I hope that title doesn’t get me in trouble.

I was trying to think of how I could title this in a way that it would be relevant to who I am.  No, I am not Batman, nor am I going on a crime fighting crusade, however, like Bruce Wayne, I am attempting a come back of sorts, and given my love of the comic book world, I went with this comparison.

What am I talking about?  Well, despite my previous stance against the culture of online dating, I have boldly re-initiated my previously dead profile on  Yes, once again, I am using a Visa card to seek out my life partner.  I shake my head as I say this, but still hold out hope that this will at least get me out there in the world of single folks like myself, and perhaps lightning will strike.

Back when I was a naive 20 something single guy, I decided was the way to go.  Ok, I even filled out an E Harmony profile, but that felt like the more elite of the dating sites and I feared I was out of my league. seemed to be filled with more women that would hold my interest.  I was suckered into a 6 month subscription in which I was guaranteed to find a date or I would receive six additional months free.  Needless to say, after 12 months of no success, I cancelled my subscription before wasting another couple hundred bucks to be rejected.  In that time, I only met one woman and after two phone calls, she ended it.  I decided at that point that I would never again pay for a date, which is more or less what these sites are doing.

So what changed my mind?  I guess reality kind of smacked me in the face the other day and I decided I better do something or I am going to end up very old and very alone with nothing more than regrets about a life I failed to take advantage of.  I visited my sister the other day and had the chance to spend some time with my nephew and of course my brother and his wife are nearing the birth of their first child, and these two things, along with my own desires to spend some “quality time” with a woman reminded me that maybe I need to be a little more proactive in finding a woman who may actually enjoy my company.  Life doesn’t come to you, you have to go out and bring it to yourself.  As much as I would like someone to stumble across my Facebook page and think to them self, “There’s the guy I want to marry,” it’s very unlikely to happen.  As well, holding out hope that the woman of my dreams will happen to strike up a conversation with me at the gym or in line at Stop & Shop is just going to leave me disappointed.  I am not very outgoing and unless someone trips over my shoe, I am not likely to talk to them, and even then, I tend to end it quickly.  I guess my hopes are that by paying for a subscription, I am more or less paying for a little assistance, a slight crutch to help me along.  How is this site going to help me?  Well, I am much less timid when it comes to E mailing someone, especially if I have a profile to read over before hand.  Also, I have a profile which dips a little into my inner self, allowing someone to see more of me than just my work uniform or my gym clothes.  I don’t pretend to think I am some overly attractive metro-sexual bachelor who can pick and choose among the women who come my way.  No one is going to fall over upon viewing me, but perhaps after reading a little about who I am, a more interesting woman will come my way.  I am not looking for superficial, materialistic, model types who are looking for a male arm to hang off of while shopping in New York, rather a smart, witty, adorably cute young woman who is interested in sharing her thoughts with someone who genuinely wants to listen.  I have seen so many disgusting pairs of males and females who are clearly only together because they look good arm in arm and share nothing more in common than the desire to be the rivals of their friends and family.  I am truly looking for someone who complements who I am and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them.  I don’t expect to find anyone who is going to be exactly what I envision, but I hope to find someone who will work with me so that we both fit our mutual descriptions, if that makes any sense.

Now, it’s only been two days, but we all know I am not the most patient when it comes to these things.  I did see a few profiles that struck my interest, but ultimately decided I was fishing for things we may have had in common just so I could send a message.  I did receive one message from a woman who I don’t think would be a good fit for me, but I was kind enough to respond to her (More than can be said about a lot of the women who I messaged way back when)  This morning, however, I did come across a profile of a woman that made me laugh, and while I am not looking for a comedian for a girlfriend, someone with a witty, somewhat sarcastic sense of humor, is perfect for me.  After a strong cup of coffee I mustered the courage to send out a message to her and I am sitting her eagerly awaiting a response.  To be fair, the message was sent at like seven thirty in the morning so it’s very possible she has not even seen it yet, but I can’t help but be hopeful.

Sometimes I feel like I am just setting myself up for disappointment again and again.  I tell myself after each failed experience with a woman that I won’t allow myself to get my hopes up, yet I do and inevitably I end up grumpy over the whole idea of love and happiness.  I guess i just decided that at 32, I have to be willing to get hurt now and again in order to find happiness.  If I just sit here and wait for something to come my way, I am basically the artist of my own failure.  As the song goes, you can’t hurry love (damn, that sounds cheesy) but the fact is, with each passing day, my opportunities become smaller and smaller.  There are several billion people on this planet, hundreds of thousands who live in the state of Connecticut, and at least a few hundred women between the ages of 25 and 35 who might actually enjoy talking to me so what have I got to lose by trying?  Really, the odds should be in my favor, right?  Right.

That’s all I’ve got for now.  I have a few hours before work and I’m going to make some breakfast and go back to writing in Spanish for a while as a distraction and try not to think about checking my inbox over and over.  As always, I’ll keep you posted on the outcome.  Wish me luck.

~ by James on July 26, 2013.

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