I Don’t Even Know Where To Begin: The Internet Meets The Real World

About two weeks ago, in a moment of desperation, weakness, or some other delusional state of mind that I find myself in every now and again, I subscribed…no, let’s be honest, I re-subscribed, to Match.com.  Now, for those of you living under rocks or perhaps for those who simply aren’t single, Match.com is a website dedicated to finding dates for lonely saps like me.  I signed up for it probably ten years ago or more, tinkered with it now and again and then swore, probably back in 2008, that I would never again pay to find a date.  I would do it the old fashioned way and find my life partner without the assistance of guided profiles and weird little games meant to attract the opposite sex.  Flash forward a few years, and once again, I find myself draining the minutes of my day clicking on various profiles of women who claim to be looking for a guy like me.

Why did I go back?  I guess the simple answer is that the old fashioned way wasn’t working.  I wasn’t going out looking for dates and no one was coming my way so despite my resistance to paying for a subscription to a website that failed me in the past, I went back, hoping that maybe if I put a little more effort into my attempts, someone good would come my way.  Day 1 offered me no results and I was immediately regretful that I had subjected myself to this once again.  Day 2 however offered a few potential candidates and like always in my life, my spirits soared.  I came across several profiles of cute women who were close to my age and looking for someone to spend time with.  The biggest problem I ran into was the distance issue which always comes up.  Certainly, it is a little preposterous of me to think the love of my life is going to live three doors down from me, but of the few responses I received, most of the women were almost an hour away from here.  I tried to limit my search to girls within ten miles of me, but apparently I still show up to those who have a broader range.  I didn’t let this get me down right way though.  I decided I would respond to any E mail from anyone regardless of where they lived or even if I was interested in them or not.  My biggest turn off to sites like this are when I send someone a message and they don’t respond.  I am not expecting a letter from everyone I send a message to, but a simple, “Hi, I am talking to someone else, but thanks for saying hello,” would at least prevent me from having my confidence shattered every time I send someone a hello.  Ignoring people isn’t very nice.

That being said, I had about four or five E mail conversations with different women over the past few weeks, and one even suggested we meet on Sunday, but after I replied to that message she has not contacted me since, which leads me to my theme of the day.  The internet world and the real world are two separate entities in my mind, and I think in the mind of many people out there.  There have been very few times in my life in which I came to meet in person someone I had spoken to over the internet.  Sure, with programs like Skype, suddenly we can chat with people all over the globe, but those people aren’t real.  To me, in my warped sense of reality, these people only exist in the internet world and when the opportunity to meet them in the real world comes up, we all chicken out.  It’s very strange to cross over between one and the other  Now, like I said, it has happened a few times for me, but for the most part, people I encounter on the internet rarely transfer over to my real world life.  Of course, this could be a problem when searching for a wife, but that brings me to the point of this rant.

Of all the women I contacted, only one was from my town.  Her profile came up and of course, like every guy in the world, I checked out all of her pictures first, then went on to read her profile.  She was cute, my age, maybe a year older actually, and seemed to be looking for the same simple kind of relationship I am seeking.  I am not looking for someone to accompany me to New York for a night on the town, nor do I plan on going rock climbing in Arizona anytime soon.  I would just like to find someone who might want to have dinner at a nice restaurant from time to time, watch a movie with me on the couch on a random Tuesday night, or maybe have a cook out with my family on some random Sunday.  I am looking for someone who would like to find a guy like me who wants to get married and have a family but is content to wait until the time is right.  Look, I know I am not wealthy nor do I have lots of expensive things, but I have the desire to treat someone right and be by their side as we raise a family.  i think that’s more important than a two car garage, but maybe I am crazy.  In any case, I was very excited when this woman responded to me.  She did not say much, but I thought it was a start and of course, I was very happy to think I had met someone close by who shared some of my interests.  Well, after maybe one more message, she stopped contacting me.  I commented on one of her photos, hoping she would write back, but nothing came.  Of course I was a little disappointed, and when I say a little, I mean a lot, but I was determined not to let it get me down.  If I could find one woman from my town, certainly there were more.  I couldn’t help but still check out the first girl’s profile, but I wasn’t going to send any more messages if she did not respond to me first.  Then I went to the gym today.

I go to the gym almost daily, and on Friday I usually go around noon.  Today, I was a little frustrated with the whole dating thing, so I decided to go about an hour early.  Friday’s, since I work at night, I try not to go too crazy.  I usually just ride one of the bikes for about an hour at a pretty light pace.  I always find myself looking at the attractive girls as I make my way to the bikes, but I try not to stare at anyone and I keep my head down.  Today, as I got on the bike, I noticed an attractive woman on one of the bikes a few machines over from me.  Then, it hit me like a shot to the head.  It was her, the girl from Match, at least I was almost certain it was.  I didn’t want to stare at her, but after a few moments I was convinced it had to be her.  Her hair was tied up and curly, a little different from her pictures, but her face was the same and I was dying to know if she noticed me.  Of course now I was even more discouraged that she had not responded to me in a few days.  In person, she was just as attractive, if not more so than in her pictures.  Of course, I worried that in person in my wrinkled Yankees t-shirt I looked much worse in person, but to be honest, I am not even sure if she noticed me at all.  She continued working out for a while as I pedaled away and then left while I was still going.

I was furious at myself, but I don’t know why.  Even if it was her, she has shown no interest in me since our initial conversation.  Whether it was her or not, I would never have had the courage to go talk to her anyway, so it really makes no difference, and yet here I am, kicking myself over what?  A missed opportunity?  I don’t know.  In my mind, I want to send her a message and just say, “Hey, I think I saw you at the gym today and wanted to say hi, but I am too much of a scared little shit to actually talk to real women and I have to use websites like this one to even have a chance of meeting someone.”  While of course I know nothing about her aside from her limited profile, seeing her in person made her so much more attractive to me and watching her really made me wish we had talked more.

I guess my thoughts now are, should I send another message or just forget all about her?  I definitely don’t want to come across as some weirdo, but maybe if I show a little more interest she will be more receptive.  Who knows?  I should probably wait, think it over at work tonight, and then decide the next time I am online.  I don’t think some rushed message right now would be a very good idea.  In any case, I have to go to work now and try to keep my mind off the idea of having a relationship with this woman.  I hate how wrapped up I let myself get with these things.  All right internet world, that’s all for now.  Talk to you later.

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~ by James on August 2, 2013.

One Response to “I Don’t Even Know Where To Begin: The Internet Meets The Real World”

  1. […] went on and on in one entry over getting my hopes up over a women whose profile I saw on Match.com. and then went on to […]

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