It’s Real Now

It was here that it all began.  December 14, 2013 was the first time I actually put down in writing my desire to take a trip to Spain.  Two days earlier, I had written about how difficult it would be to even attempt a trip like this and I went on and listed all the factors that stood in my way.  I didn’t have a passport.  It would cost a fortune.  My boss would never allow me to take four weeks off.  I was afraid to fly.  I could never spend a month on my own in a foreign country.  I even titled the entry “The Dream That Will Never Become A Reality.”  475 days later, I am writing to say that I only have 29 more days until I fly out of JFK Airport in New York to spend the month of May in Madrid.  I don’t know how I did it.  Well, no, that’s a lie, I know how I did it, and that’s to say, I had a lot of help.

First, it took a lot of courage on my part.  I had to have the courage to tell myself I could spend a month alone in a foreign country.  I had to have the courage to say I knew enough Spanish that I would be able to communicate with the people there and not run to look for English speakers to help me.  I had to have the courage to tell myself I could leave my bubble of comfort and challenge myself to do something entirely out of character for me in order to finally live my life and not just exist.  Finding this courage was a challenge for me, but thankfully, I’ve had quite a bit of inspiration along the way.  There have been days I’ve doubted myself and of course I had fears early on that after all the hype, I wouldn’t be able to do this, but step by step I gathered all the things I needed.  I started with the passport.  I then searched the airlines for plane tickets.  I found a place to stay for a month.  I budgeted my expenses and tried to think of every possibility, but in the end, with the support of my friends and family, I told myself nothing was going to stop me from doing this.

The support I have received from those around me has been incredible and more than I could have ever imagined, and while there are always those who will try to discourage me and offer to show me all the downsides to my adventure, I have managed to teach myself to ignore those who want to bring me down and surround myself with those who support my dreams and want to see me succeed.  I can honestly say I have no fear going into this trip.  Yes, there will be moments of tension and times I will struggle to say what I want to say, but in the end, I know I will be OK because I have prepared myself for this and I know in my heart this is something I not only want to do, but have to do.

The only thing left to do now is wait.  Four weeks is a long time when you can see the finish line ahead of you.  I know it will be here before I know it, but I feel like now I am counting every second.  In any case, that’s all for now.  More to come before I head out.  We’ll talk more soon.

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~ by James on April 1, 2015.

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