An Offer I Can’t Refuse

I’m not sure I even know where to begin with this one.  I should probably be writing this in Spanish, but I want to be sure to get the full effect out of everything I write.  Every time I think my life has reached its peak, something else incredible comes along to show me that there truly are amazing people in this world who want to see others succeed and be happy.  After so many years of being a sarcastic cynic, I have learned this year how nice it is to be genuinely happy and how wonderful it feels to have people who love and support you through everything.  Tonight was one of those unexpected nights where I once again saw how lucky I am to have so many special people in my life.

It’s been incredibly difficult to come home after work each day, knowing Veronica isn’t here with me.  It has been very difficult for her to be back in Spain while I am still here in the US.  Neither one of us doubts that we will be together in the end, but that doesn’t change the fact that we aren’t together right now and it hurts.  I think about her constantly and I know she thinks about me just as often.  We have to live our daily lives obviously, but whenever there is a free moment from the chaos of our day, we find ourselves thinking about one another and how much we want to be together.  Perhaps we are both overreacting just a bit but after our week together in October, it’s very hard to go back to our normal routine.

I’ve been working very hard on getting everything I need together to apply for a VISA, but unfortunately, I can only do so much at once.  There are steps that need to be taken, forms to be filled out, and ultimately, the biggest obstacle is obtaining employment prior to receiving the VISA.  I have finally been in contact with someone at McDonald’s in Spain and they have asked to see a resume, which is a huge step, but no guarantee.  Having a job will make the rest fairly simple.  In any case, in addition to the paperwork I need to gather here, I also need to start deciding what I need to do regarding my apartment and other belongings prior to me departing.  That’s where my night took a surprising turn tonight.  I went to meet with Pattie just to discuss how things were going and to see if she could offer any suggestions as to how to expedite the whole process.  We talked about the VISA, but also about my apartment, and she came up with an incredible offer for me.  I will have to sign a month to month lease if I plan on leaving in the next few months.  Unfortunately, this will cost me $50 more per month than a normal lease, but will allow me not to forfeit my security deposit when I decide to leave.  Pattie has offered to let me move into her home until I am ready to leave for Spain, which will help me save a tremendous amount of money, even if I am only there a month or two.  I was floored by her offer and didn’t know how to possibly thank her.  I have to go talk with the apartment people on Thursday and I plan on letting Pattie know my decision that afternoon.  I can’t think of a reason not to do it.  In fact, since I will still be living here until at least the end of the year, I can easily go back and forth between the two places, choosing to sleep here after a closing shift at McDonald’s or sleeping in her house, which is close to my mother’s place and all of my friends if I want to spend time with them.  I plan on at least attempting to sell the bigger furniture in my place, and anything I can’t sell I will donate to Good Will or something.  It will be so much easier to do that if I have another spot to sleep at night.  It really is the nicest thing anyone has ever offered me and I can’t thank her enough.

As always, I was concerned about money throughout this whole process.  I never said anything about money to Veronica, but things were going to be a little tight for me until the end of the year.  Obviously I still need to be cautious with my spending, but knowing I will be free from at least a months worth of expenses will be a huge relief.  In addition to what I can save, I should be getting a tax return, and I can hopefully make a little bit of money off of whatever I sell from here, as well as a little money from the sale of my car when I am ready to leave.  I don’t think I’ll be rich, but it should be a nice comfort zone to fall into.

Both Veronica and I would like to be together by February and while I am hopeful, I just don’t know if it is possible.  The sooner I can apply for the VISA the better, but I have no idea how long it will take them to process it once I apply. The thing that is encouraging is knowing I have so much support both here and in Spain.  Leaving all this behind, while really not all that much, is still a very scary prospect.  I told my good friend, Paul, the other night that I am absolutely terrified, and at the same time, if it weren’t for all the love and support I have received, I don’t know how I would be doing any of this.  If it weren’t for the gentle pushes and nudges, I doubt I would be here talking about this right now.  As it is, I have a beautiful woman waiting in Spain for me to come be with her and have a wonderful life with her.  I still have a hard time believing this is really my life.  Just a year ago, I was still in the process of planning my trip to Madrid.  At that time, it was all still a dream, a fantasy to travel to another country, something that I could have easily backed out of if not for the people in my life who pushed me to go through with it.  Now I am here talking about going back, not to visit, but to live.  I’ll be thousands of miles from my friends and family, but I have no doubt Veronica and I are going to be happy together.  I’ll miss those who are so important to me, but they know and understand this is what I have to do.  I can’t go on not living my life just to watch them live theirs.  I have to live my life and they are going to be happy to see me go.

This year has been one hell of a ride and it’s not over yet.  Each day brings me closer to being with Veronica, and that thrills me, but it is still incredibly hard to go to bed each night without her in my arms.  In any case, it’s time for bed now, and I’ve still got a lot to think about.  We’ll talk soon.

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~ by James on November 10, 2015.

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