A Five Year Plan?

The last month has been a little crazy to say the least.  Back when it all started, I was dealing with the fact that Veronica was pregnant.  Oh, did I mention we almost had twins? That’s right, originally, there were two little embryos floating around inside of her.  It’s certainly sad to say one of them didn’t make it, but at the same time, trying to be a first time parent in a foreign country with twins might have been too much for me.  Obviously, I would have been thrilled to have two children, but realistically, I feel this is for the best.  That being said, the doctor’s advised us that should we someday want a second child, it is very likely we could have twins the second time around.  We will really have to think about that if we are going to consider having as many as three children.  I won’t know for sure before the first one arrives, but I think I like the idea of a second child.  A third might be pushing it.

Due to this whole pregnancy thing, Vero was ordered to stay out of work, initially for two weeks, and then for two additional weeks after that.  She was bleeding, something no pregnant woman ever wants, and she was terrified she was going to lose the baby.  Now that we are three months into her pregnancy, she has been allowed to go back to work and I think she and I are both breathing a little easier.  It’s hard for me to describe my feelings.  As always, I don’t show much of my emotions, and this situation has been difficult for me.  I have never had to care for a pregnant woman, nor have I ever faced the prospect of being a parent.  Of course I am excited, but I didn’t know how I would react if she had lost the baby.  It scared me and I certainly didn’t know how to offer her any comfort.  Thankfully, I think we are both settling down and we are confident she is going to be fine and in November we will welcome our first child.  Like I said, I am excited to be a dad, but it also keeps me up at night.  I have always said I want to be a good father, but I am not sure I necessarily know what that means.  Certainly nothing in my life will be more important than my child and I only hope that when the day comes I will have a good job that will allow for me to care for my wife and child.

I think being home with Veronica for four weeks was good for both of us.  We really needed the time together to really get to know one another better.  I know that sounds a little ridiculous for two people who are preparing to get married and have a baby, but the fact is, we had not previously had a lot of free time together.  For the month of April, we were able to be together in the house and get used to being with one another.  I often thought to myself that she and I really do belong together as after four weeks, we were not tired of one another and I think we were even a little more in love with one another.  We smile and laugh together quite a bit and I am well aware I am not an easy person to live with, so if she can really be happy with me, I know I am with someone very special.

One of the things that surprised me a little during our time together was a discussion we had about the future and what we want.  She told me that she had always dreamed of owning a small coffee shop and that she would love to open one in the United States.  A few years back, when I was tired of not advancing further along in my job, I had started making plans to open my own coffee shop.  The idea fell apart when the economy tanked and when I decided it was not  good idea to try to go into business alone.  Now that I am with Veronica and she and I seem to share a common idea, I am excited to think we may actually be able to make a dream of mine become a reality.  While I am content living in Spain, one of my concerns when I found out I was going to be a parent was the education of my child, as the educational system in Spain is not anywhere near the quality of schools in the United States.  Sure, not all the schools in the U.S. are great, but I think I would much rather have my children go to school in the U.S. instead of in Spain.  Veronica seems to agree with me and I have the feeling we will be moving together to the United States in the next few years.  I try not to think too much about it, as it is awesome to be living in Spain, but I think after four or five years, I will be ready to return to the U.S., and I think Veronica is also interested in living there, at least while our children are in school.

While it wouldn’t be cheap, starting a small coffee shop would certainly be possible, especially if we start putting the plan together now.  Like I said, I had put together a plan many years ago and I never truly gave up on the idea.  If we are able to save a little money here over the next few years, moving back home won’t be too difficult.  Ever since the topic came up, I have been very excited to think about seeing my family and friends in person.  I talk to them online when I can, but nothing can substitute seeing them in person.  The idea of bringing my family back to the U.S. and then opening our own business makes me very happy.  After so many years of having my hopes and dreams dashed one after another, it is amazing to think so many things are possible now that I am with Veronica.  She and I don’t want much out of life, simply the opportunity to raise our children in a relatively stress free environment and someday retire knowing we can relax and enjoy each day of our lives.

While I haven’t gone into any specifics with my mom, she knows we would like to move back home and she is thrilled.  One of the things I had always hoped for was that I could someday help my mom to live more comfortably and enjoy her life.  I have a few ideas in mind in how I hope I can help her and at the same time be close to home in a few years.  It will take a little work, but I think my plans are pretty solid.  Of course we never know what tomorrow might bring, but I am confident that with Veronica, I can do anything.

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~ by James on May 18, 2016.

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