Why Does Life Always Get In The Way Of Living?

As always, I’ve gone through a lot of shit lately.  Once more, I’ve had a job and I’ve lost a job all in the course of a month.  I’ve argued with my wife and we’ve made up and decided to move forward positively, no matter what happens.  I love her, I love my daughter, and I can’t see myself accomplishing anything without them.  That being said, as always seems to be the case in my life, I have several things, goal, wishes, whatever, I want to accomplish, and I don’t know how I am going to go about achieving them.

For months while living here in Spain, I felt like I should have had some sort of specific goal aside from simply “speak better Spanish.”  I would try to think of some specific goal I could reach for over the course of three months or so to keep me occupied and improve my ability to speak the language.  Once again I find myself home alone during the early hours of the afternoon, and if I’m not going to find a job, I should at least be finding a way to better myself.  I finally came up with something that not only will help my Spanish speaking ability, but it could possibly present opportunities for me to find work.

Obviously, people all over the world speak Spanish.  After Chinese and English, it is the most commonly spoken language in the world, and I love speaking it, and I think I would also enjoy teaching it.  I’ve probably said before that although I am not a teacher I do enjoy sharing my knowledge with others.  Unfortunately, without a license, it is quite difficult to find work as a teacher.  So what is my plan?  Well, it turns out that not only here in Spain, but all over the world, there are schools dedicated to teaching proper Spanish.  The Cervantes Institute is the highest authority on the language and they offer instruction and certification on the language to anyone who wants to learn.  Spanish and other European languages have levels that are assigned to the speakers to gauge their level of fluency.  The scale is A1, A2, B1, B2, C1, and C2.  A1 would be the most basic understanding of the language.  Basically, this is where you would start when first learning the language.  I have found various online exams that offer you a chance to test your abilities and I often fall into the B2-C1 range, C1 being quite advanced.  In fact, I sometimes doubt that C1 is accurate for me, but then my wife slaps me around and tells me I have to have more confidence in myself and trust my abilities to speak the language.  That being said, the Cervantes Institute offers exams periodically for all of its levels and offers diplomas to those who pass each level.  While A1-B2 are levels I could easily pass, the C1 or C2 exam would present a considerable challenge to me.  Additionally, those possessing a certificate for C1 or C2 are suddenly more appealing to prospective employers.  Now, being who I am, I could study and probably pass the C1 level test and try to seek work with that certification, but given my recent search for inspiration, I want to throw myself out there and attempt to pass the C2 level exam.  Here’s the thing.  I could play it safe and reach for the C1 and receive a diploma and maybe find work, or I could throw caution to the wind and go for the highest level attainable.  Unfortunately, I am fairly certain that if I don’t pass the C2, I won’t get a diploma for C1.  No, I’ll get nothing. This puts a little bit of fear in me despite trying to overcome my fears.  The exam is scheduled for November, which gives me a little over five months to prepare, and I have to register by October.  I suppose that if by October I don’t feel ready for the C2 I can sign up for the C1, but I don’t want to fall back on that plan  I want to get out of my comfort zone and take a shot.  I feel like if I study everyday just a little bit between now and October, I will know if I am ready or not.  There are plenty of practice exams online and study books available and I plan on going to the local library to ask if their are any means of studying there for the exam.  Now, there’s no guarantee I’ll find a job simply because I have a diploma in the language, but it does say I am qualified to teach the language and I imagine both here and in the United States there are plenty of people, schools, or businesses that need Spanish teachers.  I am hoping maybe this can bypass the fact I don’t have a teaching diploma and offer me a shot to teach, even if it’s not in a school but in a business or something else.

While I have developed a study plan to work on while my daughter is at daycare, I also have the desire to get back to writing.  Yes, blogging is one way of doing it, but I would like to have something published whether it be fiction or non-fiction.  I have toyed with the idea of going back to some of my drafts from years ago and revising them but after re-reading some of my stuff yesterday, I wonder if I ever really had the ability to write well.  I have several ideas in the works, none of which have been officially started.  The first is a novel.  I have always wanted to work with one of the stories I started in college an I think with the right amount of time and effort I could make it something worth reading, but I have to find the time to do it.  A second idea was to write a new collection of short stories.  I have tinkered with the idea of writing them in Spanish, as it would be a great way for me to improve my Spanish skills and possibly add to a greater audience, but aside fro the basic idea of doing this, I haven’t started any stories.  I envision six to ten short stories and I would love to write it this summer, but again, I have to find the time.  I am trying to work on posting videos on YouTube to practice speaking Spanish and to reach out to others who are learning other languages, whether it be Spanish or any other language  I wanted to use this as a way to not only speak better Spanish, but start practicing other languages as well, but that might be counterproductive to my studying for the C2 exam, and I don’t want to put that in jeopardy.

I would like to discover some way to get paid for doing something Spanish/language related from home, but YouTube videos are a shot in the dark and I have yet to launch a podcast or anything else that can gain me fame and/or notoriety.  I suggested we start some kind of online business, and the idea actually went over pretty well, but neither me nor my wife could think of a totally solid idea.  She thought of a good idea, but I don’t know how we would put it into practice.  I hate that I sit here daily without a job and I feel guilty when she comes home and asks me how my day went, but I am at a loss for how to find work while I am stuck here.  Don’t get me wrong, I have sent out a few resumes online and she and I both dropped off a few in person, but I don’t know if anything will come of it or not.  Job searches online sometimes find me opportunities, but often they are looking for someone with more experience than I have.  I left resumes at Subway and Starbucks, which sounds like crap, but who knows, maybe those will pan out.

In any case, I think this has been enough English for me today.  I am trying to stick to Spanish as much as I can.  That being said, I hope to come back here with good news soon.  Until then, adios from Spain.

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~ by James on June 7, 2017.

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